The One with the Butt

aka: Navigating Through All the Baby Stuff Part 2

Sooo, my previous post was about all the baby stuff I feel like you really “need” (remember using the word “need” loosely). Part 2 is about all the stuff I have that I really enjoy, but COULD live without. Thanks to the generosity of so many of our friends and family we were able to receive all the things we needed AND wanted.

Most of the following things were graciously given to us – and although I don’t consider them a need, they either make my and David’s lives easier or are fun for Adleigh. So, I’m so thankful for them!

Rocking Chair/Glider: this is another item where there are tons and tons of options and it can get so overwhelming. Buying new you can find something anywhere from $100 to $1000+! The spread is incredible! I think the rate-limiting thing with the glider is not necessarily your style preference, but your budget. The wooden, fabric-covered gliders tend to be less expensive than the fully upholstered ones. And, sometimes the price you see doesn’t even include the ottoman, so beware! The glider wasn’t a top priority for us (for financial reasons) so we were super blessed when one of our family members purchased a beautiful used one and re-upholstered it to match our décor. If Adleigh is fighting sleep, throw her up on your shoulder, take her to the glider, and rock away…zzzzzzz…..

Bouncer: pretty much all of my mom friends said a bouncer was a must. Most people have a Rock N Play (and a lot of moms use this as the place for their newborns to sleep for the first few months). We were gifted something similar to a Rock N Play that gently bounces up and down, plays music and has a cute little mobile hanging above baby’s head. To be honest, I was a little discouraged at first because we put it together, had it out in the house, and Adleigh HATED it! And, I HATE having stuff around the house that isn’t useful. Thankfully, now, she really likes it so I’m able to put her in there to play or nap and I know she’s safe if I’m walking around the house getting other things done.  

Swing: another must-have for most moms. If this wasn’t given to us I would not have purchased one. I don’t think you need both a swing and a bouncer. And, again, Adleigh hated it at first and I was so upset every time I walked past it. But, now she’ll swing in it for a little while and seems to enjoy it. I will say that if you have a multi-level house you may consider having one of these type pieces on each level so you don’t have to lug it around (the bouncer is super portable, the swing we have is not so much). Otherwise, if your house is compact and all one level, I don’t think you need multiple baby swings/bouncers/etc.

Bottle brush: even if you are breastfeeding, there will probably come a time when you have to use a bottle. The bottle brushes make it easy to clean the bottle.

Baby carrier: I think it’s great to be able to wear Adleigh. Unfortunately, she isn’t one of those babies who always loves it - sometimes she likes it, sometimes she doesn’t. We have the ERGObaby Four Position 360 Baby Carrier with Infant Insert – this is great for me AND David. I used this when Adleigh and I flew to Boston by ourselves. I also have a hand me down Moby. The Moby has a major learning curve. It took me several tries and lots of YouTube watching before I felt confident tying it on and wearing it and her – but I think I’m pretty good at it now. The problem with the Moby (or other long scarf-like ones) is it’s such a long piece of fabric it would be difficult to just throw on in the parking lot if I decided to wear her to run into a store. So, I also have the Beco Ring Sling which is so much easier to put on and off. It’s more compact, so it’s also easier to throw into your diaper bag if you think you might need it.  Do I need 3 baby carriers? Probably not... but they each serve a purpose and I use all 3. 

Stroller organizer: many strollers don’t come with any pockets or cup holders or anything. I got an external attachment that goes around the handle bars to accommodate.

Decorative baskets for closet/changing table: I like having cute baskets in the closet to organize. We have a cube shelving unit in the closet with pull out basket/drawers. We were gifted a couple cute decorative baskets that I keep in the closet. On her changing table I have a small white, plastic container I got from Target for $3 that holds a bunch of diapers and her Flanders.

Laundry basket: I have a plain white, plastic laundry basket in her closet (it’s actually just one we were using for us before).

Boppy Lounger: even though I say I could live without this, I always mention this as one of my “must-haves” for new moms when I’m asked. This thing has been so wonderful for us. Adleigh has been lounging in this thing since the day we brought her home from the hospital. I think it states for babies up to 16 pounds. She is about 11 pounds now and already seems big in it, but she still loves it. We put her in it in the dining room while we eat, in our bathroom while we get ready, in our bedroom, anywhere! Side note: do have something you can put in/near the bathroom that baby can safely sit in while you shower/get ready.

Play Yard: we have the Pottery Barn Kids Animal Friends Classic Activity Gym and love it. It’s gray and white, much more muted and “décor friendly”. I don’t think Adleigh is quite to the age where she can appreciate the actual toys on the play yard, she just lays there and looks and sometimes accidentally hits the animals hanging over her head. But, play yards are great to lay the baby on and play for a bit. There are many different kinds to choose from. I actually just saw a SUPER cute pink owl one and reallllllly wanted to buy it for Adleigh. But, she definitely does not need it, so I showed some restraint. We also have a Kick ‘n Play Piano gym that I just recently opened because she’s been kicking her feet a lot more. I don’t think she really knows she’s kicking the piano and making it make music, but it’s so cute to watch her and one day she will know she’s doing it herself and will love it.

Boppy Pillow: the boppy pillow is multifunctional. Most women use it to help hold their baby while they nurse. Adleigh was so small when we brought her home that I didn’t need any extra cushion to support her, I just held her. And, I’ve kind of just gotten used to that, so I haven’t really used the regular boppy that much. I am getting ready to start using it more to help her sit and help with her tummy time. It is definitely multifunctional.

Bottle drying rack: another modern invention that we could totally do without but that I really enjoy. I have the Boon Lawn and Twigs. Before I got them I was just turning her bottles upside down on my drying mat that I use for my other dishes, but the bottles weren’t getting ventilated properly and weren’t drying quickly or well. This has totally solved that. I love it.

Car mirror: to attach to your back seat head rest so you can see your baby from the rear view mirror.

CarSeatCanopy: a friend of mine had the CarSeatCanopy whole caboodle and it looked so nice and cozy for her daughter when she was in the car seat. We registered for it and it was gifted to us. It was so great for her first few weeks of life because she was so tiny and it helped fill up the car seat. After that it got a little hot (summer in the south) so we had to take out the piece that covered the whole seat. We still used the head rest portion (until about 2 days ago) because it perfectly cradled her little head (read: no neck cramp). We also still use the part that attaches to the car seat handle and acts as a blanket covering. All in all, it’s a great product- but you could just as easily use one of your many blankets as a car seat cover.

Sound Machine: admittedly, I was totally against any “sleep props.” Many people told me to register for a sound machine and I thought “No way, I don’t want her to have to use that to sleep.” Insert foot in mouth. She was super fussy one day so I downloaded a white noise app on my phone, turned it on, and voila, quiet baby! We have found when she sleeps with it on all night, she sleeps better and longer. Hopefully I can phase it out at some point (I might try that this weekend, along with an earlier bedtime…. So, maybe I won’t be getting any sleep this weekend!). I just prefer her not be dependent on it – but, for now, mommy needs to sleep, too!

Crib Mobile: she loves this thing. We don’t use it when we are putting her to bed, but when I lay her in there either for naps or just for a safe place to be while I do a few things around the house, she is mesmerized by the mobile.

Bumbo: just took this out last week to see if she could sit in it yet. She did great! The Bumbo helps strengthen baby’s core so they can start to sit up on their own.

Pack N Play: there are way too many choices for this ol’ classic, too! Different colors and designs. Different features: changing table, napper/sleeper included for your newborn, etc. My parents bought a used one for $20, we’ve only used it once. Before Pack N Plays existed, moms found other places for baby to safely sleep while on the road (seriously, my mom told me she put us in drawers). There are also now smaller infant travel beds available if you do need something to bring on the road. I imagine we’ll get more use of the Pack N Play when she’s a little more mobile.

Pacifiers: I won’t discuss pacifiers because we have chosen not to offer Adleigh one. However, I’m sure many parents would put them on the “need” list.

Beebo: we actually don’t have this but I wanted to mention it because of a picture David sent me recently. I found this while searching through other people’s baby registries. It’s basically a bottle holder so you can be hands free when bottle feeding your baby before she can hold the bottle herself. I started to think it was a little silly, but then David sent me this picture:

Photo caption: "Gotta get creative when u have stuff to do" 

I guess the Beebo isn’t such a silly idea after all!

I’m sure I’m forgetting some things we have around the house for Adleigh, but I tried to walk around and go through everything to cover it all!

I think when you talk to people about having a baby one of the things you hear the most is “Babies have a lot of stuff!” This is true… but it doesn’t have to be. If you want all the best gizmos and gadgets for your little one and you are fortunate enough to be able to afford it all, that’s great! If you want to be a minimalist, or you just can’t afford much, that’s great, too! There is no right or wrong way when it comes to baby stuff – it’s all personal preference.

You can choose what advice you take from other people. Don’t give it a second thought when people tell you that you need to do or need to have something you just don’t want! Ultimately you do what is best for your family. Babies have survived for thousands of years without all the baby stuff available now.

I hope you enjoyed hearing my thoughts and preferences – take it with a  grain of salt and then do and get what’s right for you! 

Stay tuned for my next post about baby clothes! 

The One with the East German Laundry Detergent

aka: Navigating Through All the Baby Stuff (Part 1)

Adleigh is 3 months old! I have had 3 amazing months of seeing my beautiful daughter face to face - talking to her, laughing at her, kissing her, enjoying her. I have had 3 amazing months watching her grow (like a weed!), watching her change, watching her learn and explore. I have had 3 amazing months to parent her alongside my husband (trying not to get my feelings hurt because she totally likes him more than she likes me!). And, I have had 3 months to accumulate baby stuff!

When David and I started talking about being parents, we often discussed all the STUFF that comes along with babies… and then toddlers… and then kids… and then before you know it, teenagers! We always said we would prefer to keep it all to a minimum (as a new mom, I will try not to use the word “never” – I wanted to say David and I will never let baby stuff overtake our home – but I have already learned…). Since I only have a 3-month-old, let’s talk specifically about baby stuff.

There are so many super cool things available for babies now! Honestly, I feel like I could easily have a house full of things for Adleigh to sit/lay/play in/on and just pass her around from thing to thing to keep her occupied. There are swings, bouncers, rockers, vibrating seats, play mats, Boppys, DockATots, bassinets, cradles, cribs… and there are so many different varieties in each category! To be perfectly honest, I think every single one of them is super cool and I’d love for Adleigh to have them all. BUT, as I constantly try to remind myself about adult “stuff”, she doesn’t need them, nor do I.

David and I tried to be very mindful of “needs” vs. “wants” when making our registry for Adleigh. If we are totally honest, she doesn’t need anything beyond me and David, a safe place to live, and food to eat (also me :) ). So, please hear me when I say I understand there are huge cultural differences between raising babies in America vs. other areas that have no “stuff.” So, note, when I use the word “need” I use it very loosely. Not knowing much about what babies like and need (turns out babies have preferences, so what my baby likes/needs, yours might not care about) we asked for a lot of help from our friends with kids to determine what we should and should not include on our registry, always keeping in mind that we want to try really hard to be minimalists (trust me, I’ve already failed at this – Adleigh has a shoe box full of hair bows, and I just ordered 19 more… yes, 19!).

Based on my “research” (i.e. asking mom friends) and my ENTIRE 3 months of experience – here are the things I think your house needs for baby, with commentary: 

Blankets: totally personal preference. My mom gave me the 2 baby blankets I had when I was a baby. My mother-in-law made a beautiful blanket for Adleigh. Several people gifted us blankets. But, you could get by with just 2 blankets (1 spare when 1 is in the wash).

Quick note about receiving blankets: I haven’t really found a use for these yet. The ones I got, which I think are pretty standard size, were too small to swaddle Adleigh. I keep one in the diaper bag, just because, though I have only used it once. Turns out, I do use them to cover the hassock in our living room because Adleigh is constantly laying on it – so it helps protect her from dirty germs and protect the hassock from dirty Adleigh spit up. Other than this, though, which most people don’t have, I don’t see the need for receiving blankets.

Swaddles: most babies won’t sleep well unless they are swaddled (I’m not sure when to transition out of this - Adleigh still gets swaddled every night, but not often during nap time). I tried to use a muslin Aden & Anais blanket/swaddle, but this chic broke free of that no problemo! So, we started using the ones with velcro (SwaddleMe). Those hold her pretty well, but occasionally she can also break free of them – either wiggling her arms to the top or, like this photo, somehow wiggling the bottom of the swaddle above her arm??? 

Now I just use the muslin swaddles as blankets, stroller covers, nursing covers, etc. 

Burp cloths: there are sooooo many to choose from. I chose strictly functionality (read: plain jane, not cute at all). Per my mom’s experience and recommendation I use Gerber Newborn Prefold Diapers as my burp cloths. They’re white (can bleach!!), super absorbent (ummm… made to be cloth diapers), and inexpensive. I have 20 of them and go through at least 2 (usually 3) a day – plus I keep one everywhere: by the changing table, on my nightstand, in the living room, in the diaper bag, and wherever she is at all times.

Towels: your baby won’t care if you use a super cute, hooded baby towel or one of your regular bath towels. Either is fine… just make sure you don’t care if it gets poop on it. We have 3 hooded bath towels we rotate through. We also use a towel more than once (assuming Adleigh did not poop on it, of course). 2 towels would be plenty.

Wash cloths: For a true minimalist, you can totally use your own “regular” “adult” wash cloths. However, because baby is so small and her skin is so soft, we do prefer using the really soft, small, square baby wash cloths.

Bottles: even if you are breastfeeding, there will probably come a time when your baby has to take a bottle. As with everything baby, there is a wide variety of bottles available. We went with the cheapest (literally 98 cents for a bottle) and she takes it with no problem. This is not the case for all babies. You may have to try a few different bottles before finding one your baby will take, or you may have to have a special one if your baby has issues with reflux or other medical conditions. Since I am mostly staying at home, we don’t need a ton of bottles. We really only use 2.

Diapers & wipes: everyone knows you need diapers and wipes. The hardest part is determining how many. When we first brought Adleigh home I changed her diaper before every single feeding – partly to help try to wake her up and partly because I was a new mom who didn’t want any pee/poop to sit in her diaper for any length of time. So, we are talking 8 to 12 diapers a day for the first couple weeks to a month. After that, you start to become more comfortable as a parent in deciding when you need to change your baby’s diaper and when it’s just “a little wet” or “a little poopy”. Also, after the first few weeks, most babies start to poop less often. Note: I only have experience with a breastfed baby, I don’t know anything about potty habits of a formula fed baby. Wipes- assume an average of 2 wipes per diaper change.

Brands of diapers and wipes will be totally parent and baby preference. As a parent you will see which wipes you like best (are they too thin or too thick? are they too wet or too dry? do they come out of the container easily one handed?). We have already used 5 or 6 different brands. There are some I don’t necessarily love, but I could use any of them. Honestly, once I go through all those gifted to me, I’m sure I will determine wipe choice by price. Diapers can be partially your preference, but baby’s body type may also dictate which brand you want to get, and it will likely be trial and error. As of right now, we have only had issues with one brand of diaper, and I think it was just because they were too big. She does totally fine with generic store brands vs. big brand names.

Butt cream/paste/ointment: most babies will get diaper rash – some more often than others. I have Flanders (I believe it has to be special ordered either online or from your pharmacy), Desitin and A&D (have not yet used A&D). Personally, I think Flanders is the best! I’ve used Desitin (max strength) once when her diaper rash was so red and not getting better with a few applications of Flanders (that’s usually all it takes to clear her rash - 2 or 3 diaper changes with application of Flanders). Occasionally Adleigh will get a small spot of what our pediatrician called “erosive” diaper rash. It’s hard to explain, it’s usually just a little rawer than a typical diaper rash. When she gets that, I put some Mylanta (yes, liquid adult antacid) on a Q-tip and dab it on the spot. It needs to dry a little before putting the diaper back on (my pediatrician recommended using a blow dryer… but that would never work cause she would pee/poop all over her clean diaper if I did that) so I usually just blow on it for a few seconds.

Changing Table/Dresser or some form of a changing station: I am using a regular dresser as Adleigh’s changing table. It’s great because it’s full-size so I have all the drawers to keep everything organized (see later blog about organization with baby). Plus, she can use it forever since it’s not infant specific. If you REALLY wanted to minimize you can totally just use a flat surface and a blanket or changing mat - but that does become difficult when baby starts to roll around. I have found that Adleigh LOVES to be changed on just the changing mat because she can slip and slide all over it and she loves that! However, we do use a changing table with a changing pad when we are at home.  Most changing pads are standard. Changing pad cover is parent preference – they come in all different materials and colors, etc. I also recommend getting waterproof changing pad liners to place on top of the cover. That way when your baby has an accident you can just put the liner in the wash, replace it with an extra and you don’t have to take off the whole cover.

Diaper bag with changing mat: oooooh the diaper bag. Let me tell you, I went back and forth, back and forth, and back and forth again about our diaper bag. And, for the first 2 weeks or so I just used a tote bag (not a huge deal cause we hardly ever left home). Seriously, though. This is 100% parent preference. I will tell you how I landed on mine. I originally registered for a fairly expensive one that my friend had. It was super cute (didn’t look like a diaper bag necessarily, could be used as a travel bag post baby) and functional. But, as I said, it was expensive! Had someone gifted it to me, I would have kept it. But, as time drew nearer to Adleigh coming, I had not yet received it, so I started thinking more about it and asking my friends questions. The friend who had the diaper bag said she liked it a lot, but honestly did not think it was worth the extra money. Another friend told me to get something inexpensive and later in life buy a purse I like instead of an expensive diaper bag J. Ultimately I decided to go with inexpensive. I went to Target’s website (because I had lots of gift cards) and looked at pretty much every diaper bag <$50 and read all of their reviews. I also didn’t want a super colorful one or one with characters or anything on it. I found the Fisher-Price Fast-Finder Deluxe Diaper Bag. It’s plain black. It had good reviews. So I ordered it. It’s been great. Again, not the most fashionable bag, but it is SUPER functional, and functionality is key when you’re holding a baby in one arm and trying to find fill-in-the-blank with your other hand – bottle, blanket, burp cloth, etc. I’ll include more information about my diaper bag in a future blog about organization with baby.

Hangers: baby hangers for the tons and tons of clothes people will give you! I hang up everything except onesies, leggings/pants, and sleepwear.

Bassinet/crib waterproof mattress cover and sheets: I would suggest at least 2 sheets for baby’s crib and bassinet. A lot of mattresses now are made with a plastic top in order to be more waterproof. If this is the case for yours, you may not need a waterproof mattress pad. If not, you definitely need one to protect the mattress.

Baby book/calendar: you will want something to document everything going on with your baby. With technology now, you could probably get away without a physical book or calendar, but I love my baby calendar. I keep it hanging on the wall and write all her “firsts” on the days. I use it kind of like a scrapbook, too. I have included photos, ticket stubs (her first football game), hospital tags, etc.

Books: put down the iPad and pick up a book! I love reading to Adleigh. She is starting to get to where I feel like she is actually listening to the story.

Nose suction: I just use the bulb syringe they gave me in the hospital. I actually really like it. I also have the Nose Frida, but have not used it yet.

Bath soap and lotion: we have a big bottle of each that we have been using since birth and they aren’t even ¼ of the way gone. They last a long time! So if you don’t have a lot of cabinet space for all the bottles you’ll get from your baby showers, return them for gift cards and buy something else you need cause 1 big bottle is going to last us at least 6 months, probably more.

Car Seat: you can go with a convertible car seat or an infant car seat. There are pros and cons to both. I think the majority of people choose an infant car seat right away. The convenience of clicking the car seat in and out of the car, in and out of the stroller, and being able to carry your baby inside your house, or stores, or whatever without removing her from the car seat is a huge advantage. Another advantage is 1 car seat for multiple cars if you just buy and install additional car seat bases in multiple vehicles. The advantage of a convertible car seat is its length of use. Many convertible car seats are approved for birth to 60+ pounds – so potentially the entire time a child needs to be in a car seat. So, that’s one car seat for your baby’s whole childhood. There are LOTS of things to think about when making this decision. Bottom line, you need one, so just pick what’s best for you and your family.

Stroller: if you choose an infant car seat, you’ll want the stroller that goes with it. Otherwise, find a stroller that meets your needs. I honestly didn’t research strollers that much (it was far too overwhelming to me). I went to the store with a friend of mine, she showed me the one she had for her daughter, we played with it, I registered for it, done!

Comb/Brush: I use the cheap black comb they gave me in the hospital.

Camera: whether it’s your phone, a small inexpensive digital, or a top of the line DSLR camera – have something handy all the time to document your sweet baby growing up!

Baby Monitor: another thing that was super overwhelming to me. I passed this to David since I consider it technology and that’s his department. We ultimately picked one that a friend recommended. You just want to consider your priorities. Audio, video, or both? High definition? Black and white or color? Night vision? Two-way communication? Ability to view from your cell phone while not at home? Size of the handheld monitor? Battery life of handheld monitor? Auto-off? Motion/sound activated lights? Etc. etc.

Baby Clothes: little girl clothes are ADORABLE. And, people LOVE to buy babies clothes! Needless to say, we got a TON of clothes at our baby shower. What you keep in the closet for your child is up to you – personally, I felt wasteful to have soooo many clothes for her. I wanted to have enough clothes per size for her that we could always carry an extra outfit with us just in case, and so I didn’t have to do laundry every day or every other day but also not too many where she only wore an outfit once before she grew out of it. I still haven’t figured out that magic number. See more information about her clothes in a future blog.

If you’re a nursing mom you will need a few additional things. I have so much to say about breastfeeding. Stay tuned for a separate blog.

So, baby stuff definitely adds up – but, if you truly get only the things you need, it’s not really that much. It looks like a lot in this blog because I put so many comments :) BUT, we still have a lot of other stuff that is not listed above in the “you really need” list.  So, part 2 of this blog is coming and I will discuss the stuff I have that I really enjoy, but could most likely live without.

Also, the following are some things I have that I haven’t used yet – so I can’t really say if they are a “really need” or an “enjoy but could live without”: (I plan to discuss all these things as she grows into them)

• Portable high chair
• Bath toy organizer (Munchkin Scoop, Drain, and Store)
• Bath mat for inside the tub (Walmart InterDesign Pebblz Bath Mat)
• Bath toys
• Playyard: Kick ‘n Play Piano Gym, Baby Einstein Play Gym
• Teethers
• Safety Plug Protectors
• Thermometer: note, I have used the plain oral thermometer the hospital gave me a couple times under her armpit. I have not yet used the fancier one – I don’t think it’s accurate until babies are a certain age.
• Shopping Cart Cover
• Loveys
• Bibs

Please share your comments! What am I missing on the "really need" list?